My First Blog Post & My First Birth Story : The Day I Became a Mother

Last year, as my daughter Ava celebrated her 10th birthday, she said something that took my breath away: Mom this isn't just my birthday we are celebrating - It's our anniversary." She was so right! "

January 18, 2014, was the day everything changed for me—the day I became a mother. It wasn’t just her birth; it was the beginning of my rebirth."

THE STORY

I remember the moment so vividly - the mix of anticipation, fear, and excitement as I realized my baby was on the way.

At 24 I felt ready to be a mom, a feeling I'd had for a long time. Although Motherhood itself didn't scare me. I had fears and insecurities I would not bear the physical demands and pain of a natural birth. At that time I was so attached to the memories I had of heavy and painful periods. Looking back, I am amazed at all I accomplished. I would tell my younger self "You are holy, and perfect, and everything that is meant happen will be."

I chose an OB I felt comfortable with and took intentional steps to build trust during our visits. I toured the hospital facility and took the prenatal classes that were recommended. We had a curated playlist of calming and uplifting tunes and packed a hospital bag. I felt I had everything ready to go.

At 39 weeks and 6 days at our regular check-in appointment my OB mentioned that I was 3 centimeters dilated and 80% of my cervix had been effaced (effacement refers to the thinning of the cervix in preparation of childbirth). She explained that before labor our cervix feels firm like the tip of your nose. As labor progresses it softens your cervix and it becomes more like the texture of your lips. She proceeded to explain that this stage could last several days and asked me how I had felt recently. It was true ! I had spent the past 2 nights anxious and feeling contractions that did not equate to onset of labor. Feeling reassured by her presence, I accepted her suggestion for induction, as she was on call that night, and because the idea of her supporting my labor was comforting to me.

The next day and headed to the hospital for an induction. I will let you in on a secret... at that time I did not understand that an induction meant initiating labor before it begins naturally. The goal of an induction is to stimulate contractions to start the labor process and there are different mechanisms to accomplish this. Upon arrival at the hospital, I was hooked up to a fetal monitor to track Ava's heart beat and contractions, and given an IV drip of Pitocin. The machines beeped steadily in the background, picking up the reassuring sound of Ava’s heartbeat. It was a surreal moment bouncing around in a yoga ball feeling the rush through it all and knowing that I was about to meet her first the very first time.

Pitocin used in inductions is a synthetic hormone designed to mimic Oxytocin, the natural hormone your body creates during labor. While this is an effective way to initiate labor, Pitocin leads to stronger and more intense contractions, resulting in a different experience for many women. Although I had planned to avoid an epidural, a couple of hours into the Pitocin drip I chose to receive one. Oh boy! I will never forget the feeling of curling-up my spine as if the needle had already been punctured in- I was SO afraid in this moment. The anesthesiologist guided me into relaxing my spine so the procedure could move forward! Although it was not my plan I would not have changed this part of the experience at all, because it came with endless lessons which are the greatest gift of life. I did received my epidural early enough to be able to resist the longer parts of labor, and when we were ready to push I felt I had the energy to partake and witness it all.

I cant emphasize this enough- there is nothing, truly nothing that compares to the feeling of meeting your baby for the first time. Ava, my angel, she was perfect! The medical team quickly laid her on my chest, and she calmly lifted her head to greet me with a smile. It sure does not feel like it was 11 years ago now.

THE AFTERMATH

As I mentioned earlier, I was excited to have my OB on call that day. What I didn't realize though was that while she was the provider responsible for my care, it was actually a nurse who cared for me throughout my time there. The nurse who cared for me was so kind, professional and really made me feel supported and seen. She took steps to support the stretching of the perineum and made me feel supported and seen even though I was under the epidural.

The reality is that I feel today I gave my power away the moment I accepted an induction without understanding what it meant.

Looking back, I now realize that Pitocin reduced my ability to fully experience natural labor, and there were other interventions I wasn’t prepared for. My water was broken as another attempt to stimulate faster labor progression, but in hindsight, I would have preferred for Ava to stay in the safety of my womb for as long as she needed. After all, if there’s no stress and both mom and baby are healthy, the womb is the safest place for her.

There’s really no reason to break the amniotic sac (the water) to help labor progress unless there’s a true emergency. The water bag serves an important purpose—it cushions and protects the baby during labor. In fact, many babies are born with their water bag intact, a phenomenon called being "born en caul." It’s a beautiful reminder that sometimes, allowing things to happen naturally is the best approach.

Ava was born at 12:02 AM—just two minutes past my OB’s on-call shift. To this day, I still struggle to understand why she performed an episiotomy without asking for permission or explaining the need. An episiotomy is a surgical cut made in the perineum (the area between the vagina and anus) during childbirth to enlarge the vaginal opening and help deliver the baby more easily. It is typically done when medically necessary to prevent severe tearing or complications. Unfortunately for me It felt unnecessary and, looking back, it seems it was done out of convenience rather than medical necessity.

Healing from the episiotomy was isolating and painful, both physically and emotionally. But this experience taught me the power of knowledge and self-advocacy. It was the beginning of my journey into health and wellness, a path that has transformed not only how I view birth but how I live my life.

From here on out I continue on my journey of Motherhood learning all the new skills swaddling, breastfeeding, formula feeding, sleeping, and the list goes on... I am very glad that I took full advantage of the beautiful weather & ecosystem San Diego has to offer, and as often as possible I returned to nature for grounding.

REFLECTION

I chose to share Ava's birth story as my first blog post because it holds such a special place in my heart. Ava has been one of my biggest supporters as I embark on my journey to becoming a doula. She’s even asked me if I’ll be there to support her during her own birth journeys one day—a humbling and inspiring thought that fills me with immense gratitude.

Sharing this during her birthday month feels especially meaningful. It’s a time that always reminds me of how far we’ve both come in our journey together—a month of reflection, inspiration, and gratitude. Not only for the day I became her mom but also for the growth we’ve experienced side by side.

Thank you for taking your time to read our story. It means so much to share this journey with you, and I hope it brings you a little motivation to your day.

Last but not least - If you’re inspired by how much we can learn through our first pregnancy and want a journey filled with advocacy, love, and caring guidance—let’s connect! Schedule your free consultation today to discuss your unique needs and how I can support you.

If our story reminded you of your own experiences I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to send me a message or connect with me social media. Share this post with anyone who might need a little encouragement or connection. Let’s keep the conversation going and support one another through this beautiful, messy, and transformative journey of life.

With love and gratitude,

Thays